Dieting

I have been a yoyo dieter for more years than I care to remember. I have now decided that I live in the wrong century. The artist Rubens would have welcomed me as a model. The skinny girls on today's catwalk would not have merited a second glance from him.Oh well! Too late now to do much about it. Here are some things to make all you aspiring waifs cheer up.

Lady speaking to her rather large friend who is about to eat a huge plateful of food. "Why, dearie, I thought you was on a diet" Friend replied "So I am dear. I've had me diet, now I'm having me dinner."

I haven't got the figure for jeans (Mrs. Thatcher.)

Jam doughnuts can be very disappointing. First bite you haven't come to the jam, second bite you've gone past it.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food I have to eat it.

Hunger is the best sauce.

The pasta diet will make you lose weight. You walk pasta da bakers, pasta the sweet shop, and pasta the refrigerator.

My mother told me it was a sin to waste food. I try to tell myself that it is better that it goes to waste than it goes to waist. I don't succeed!