Seeking Directions

I have only to stand still in the street and someone will ask me the way to somewhere. I must look like a local, even in Denmark! My father-in-law had a few tales to tell on this subject.

Ask a vicar the way and he will say "Down this road to St. Peter's Church, turn right when you get to the Baptist Chapel, straight on past the Wesleyan until you get to the Cathedral." Ask Bill Jones and he will say "Go down this road as far as The Red Lion, turn left at The Bull, past the King's Head and it is opposite the Rose & Crown."

In the early days of cycling ladies wore" Bloomers" (named after a Mrs. Bloomer an early cyclist) to save their skirts from getting oily. Two such ladies stopped to ask a farmer for directions. "Is this the way to Wareham?" "Well I don't know" said the farmer. "My missus wears hers under her dress."

Ask the way of a local and he will say "Well if I were you I wouldn't start from here."
Two young men asked the way and the answer was "I don't know." "You don't appear to know much." said one young man rudely. " Mebbe not" was the reply "But I aren't lorst."