Quotations

I enjoy listening to a sort of parlour game called "Quote, unquote" on BBC Radio 4. Various celebrities talk about their favourite quotations.
My mother's sayings would fill a whole programme. She had something to fit every occasion. The neighbours were often a sore point. "She's no better than she should be" was a mystery to me. Of a crafty one "You have to watch her like boiling milk" Anyone she thought was a bit soft was "Three ha'ppence short of a shilling". Her maxim on sleep was 6 for a man, 7 for a woman and 8 for a fool. You weren't supposed to lie abed. The weather "When the wind is in the east it's neither good for man nor beast". When her grandchildren asked her how old she was she would say "I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth". Ask her to play and she would say "I can't just now, I've got a bone in my leg". I wasn't allowed to be conceited she would say "Self praise is no recommendation" or "Is your trumpeter dead?"
Helping me with my homework it was "I'll try, two heads are better than one , even if they are only sheep's heads". If I should whistle she'd say "A whistling woman and a crowing hen is neither good for God nor men"
She was very strong on morals "Speak the truth and shame the Devil" God pays debts without money" (when retribution strikes). "Patience is a virtue, posess it if you can. Seldom found in woman, never in a man". Always an optimist "When one door shuts another one opens" "Out of debt, out of danger" when she paid a bill. If she did some work on a Sunday she would say "The better the day, the better the deed".
If the boss told you off he would "Have you up on the carpet" presumably his was the only room with a carpet. "The last person to get her tap mended was the plumber's wife". "If you want a job done well do it yourself" If I was cheeky she'd say "You'll laugh on the other side of your face" I'm still working out some of these sayings.
She had the wisdom of Solomon. I remember sharing an apple with my brother. She said he could cut it and I could choose which half to have. You never saw an apple cut so carefully!